We flipped a switch somewhere, and now all of you get to have these posts straight from the Mikey's mouth. :-)
So insert your favorite sexual innuendo here, and let's recap some Raw!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife as the show begins:
"I hate Mick Foley's new haircut. I HATE IT!"
Show starts with a beatdown between Seth Rollins and Braun Strowman.
So, that's it for Sami Zayn in this feud then?
So if EITHER Kevin Owens or Chris Jericho pin Roman Reigns tonight, either one gets the belt.
If Reigns retains, this is next level trolling.
Wow. Roman fans just out-cheered the boos for him.
It's working Vince! Don't change anything about Reigns!
So, they postponed the Reigns Triple Threat Handicap match for an impromptu match between Rollins and Strowman.
Well, that's kinda good. Makes me think it's more plausible that Reigns will actually drop the damned thing later in the show.
They're still talking about Sami, which makes me think Rollins vs. Strowman is just a filler feud for a week.
Of course a feud between all three of them could bleed into the Rumble.
I still miss the Curb Stomp.
But Rollins is really good at hitting leap drops. Fun to watch.
Rollins had kind of an Assassin's Creed stance at the top of the turnpost there for a moment.
Rollins holds off Strowman for a DQ.
Good match. Elevates Rollins.
Unfortunately also doesn't make Sami look great. But there's time for that. (I hope.)
Oh, ain't that nice. Drew Brees is there.
That's great. #ChargerFan #SuckedWhenHePlayedHere #TotallyOverIt #NotMadAnymore
"...[Sasha's] never beaten me for my title at a Pay-Per-View."
Yeah we know Charlotte.
...We know.
Nia first helps Charlotte attack Bailey and Sasha....then she turns on Charlotte and slams her into a box.
If anything can get Nia some reactions with the audience, that will. Sad to see her get nothing thus far.
Even the audience "what's?" were half-assed during Jack Gallagher's promo.
They got into Gallagher's upside down antics a bit.
But were tuned out during most of the rest of his match with Gulak.
"You have one hour to find the Undertaker."
I would totally expect Mick Foley to have his own Mystery Machine.
I was, like, 12 and shit when Shawn Michaels won the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble 20 years ago.
Man.
Such a tease to have HBK show up , at Royal Rumble time, just to promote a movie.
I mean, I love seeing the guy and all.
But. Tease.
"You can do like that bad movie Star Wars did, and just CGI Lana in there."
Thank you for making this segment worth it all, Rusev.
"Alright, Shawn Michaels, get outta here, we gotta promote the next Kickoff Match!" #StillPissedAboutThat
Having Shawn Michaels say the "Suck It!" along with Cass and Enzo was the second "made that waste of time worth it"......thing.
Emo hard-edged Neville has slower music, I notice.
I definitely dig the character change.
Can't imagine a switch to heel would work for anyone else though.
Tag team match with the chicks tonight.
Doesn't include the man-chick Stephanie.
#OkThatWasMean
Anderson doing actual shit talking on commentary opposite Cesaro.
Good way to start making him and Gallows credible again; move on from all the penis joke silliness.
Of course then Sheamus gets the win anyway, even with the Anderson attack on Cesaro to distract.
But, that segment was a step in the right direction. Can't expect the champions to drop in back-to-back weeks.
Camera zoom on Roman Reigns' name on the title.
Cuz fuck you, that's why.
"It's my obligation to defend the title, night in and night out."
(Has barely defended the belt since October.)
**long blackout, expecting to hear Undertaker's bell chime**
.....
**Stephanie's music hits**
My wife: "CUNT!!!!!!"
I feel like the entire badness of Raw's use of authority figures is summed up by Stephanie ripping on Mick Foley tonight.
There he is, finally.
I'm gonna miss him when he's gone.
The Deadman never fails to produce chills.
Pure awesome.
And there it is. The Undertaker is entering the Royal Rumble.
Could Taker really win the Rumble and return to Wrestlemania's Main Event?
....That would be a hell of a sendoff. #NotReadyToSayGoodbye
Tag team match between the women was fine.
Tried to push Nia. Audience still doesn't care about her.
Alicia Fox long-kisses That Dude Who's Like Marty the Moth; calls him not a real man.
Tough lives, these wrestlers.
New Day trolls Titus with "footage" of him from NXT.
I like Titus. It'd be nice if he ends up relevant in some way from this feud.
*snicker* Ok, the trombone playing off camera, and Titus giving a "Who farted?" look was funny.
Like the trombone was a fart.
....
I like fart jokes, OK?
Wow.
The cage like, fell over and shit.
Looked like Roman was getting beat easily, but then he rallied back in it.
Crowd loved it.
Owens powerbombs Reigns into the apron, to "Holy shit!" chants.
Can't remember a recent time Roman took a big hit like that.
Vs. Lesnar at Wrestlemania is all that comes to mind.
WWE finally does a smart thing with Reigns and lets him drop the U.S. Title Belt to Jericho.
Ironic that Jericho's music didn't play for his entrance, only Owens'.
But Chris Jericho now has the final belt he had yet to win.
Good Raw, WWE. Good title change.
Now make Roman a heel.
No comments:
Post a Comment