Staying Hyped With Mikey: The Go-Home Raw Live Reax

It's the big week.




So. Undertaker.

I don't think Taker vs. Reigns is the retirement match anybody wanted, but it's looking more and more like it's the one we're gonna get.

If Taker's cool with that being the end, then that's what it's gonna be.




It PAINS me if WWE is not going to use a Reigns victory over Undertaker (a retirement one to boot) to put Roman on a monster heel run.

But they're just gonna do what they're gonna do.

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I never want to see Undertaker leave for good. But his health comes first. He can walk away however and whenever he wants to.

So if now needs to be the time, I'm so happy my wife and I got to see him live. #DeadmanIntoTheSunset




.....Lotta signaling there that Nia might walk out the champ on Sunday. Interesting.

I'm thinking Sasha wins. But glad to see Nia still relevant.




Hey it's Stephanie McMahon, second-most hated woman alive.

....Casey Anthony had to work for it to beat her out.




I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to not say Alicia Fox's name the Noam Dar way.

"Alicia Fooooooooooohcks!"




Great booking with Neville vs. Austin Aries. I figured we'd get some vanilla Cruiserweight Ladder Match. Instead Aries comes back, and I'm hyped for this match.




Speaking of matches that I'm hyped for....



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Fantastic promo for Rollins and Triple H. Their match is going to be a classic.

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The Big Show wrestles a bunch of guys you see once in three months. #TheBigJobberKiller

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Braun Strowman promos himself for the Andre the Giant thing.

...He's not coming to save us from Roman beating Undertaker, is he?




.....And the stadium starts booing.

Can't imagine why.




Gah. That's some superplex Jack Gallagher took from Neville off the turnpost.

The comedic guys never get enough credit for the bumps they take.




John Cena hosted The Today Show and stuff.

That's important.




"Please welcome...Roman....Reigns!"

Oh they will. They always do.




There are some gals in the front row who make little secret of how they view Roman.




Son of a bitch. Last time they had Undertaker gesture at a grave with someone's name on it, it was Brock Lesnar's.......

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Ok, that was great. Sheamus and Cesaro mowed down Anderson and Gallows with a ladder.




Kinda weird to spontaneously roll with this "end Sami Zayn's career" angle.

...We all know that's NOT going to happen.

With Dolph Ziggler, him walking way was a rumored possibility. So his "title vs. career" match last year against Miz made sense.

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I mean, yeah, ok, it's all more of "bitch Stephanie throws her weight around".

We've seen that movie.

We never STOP seeing that movie.

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Chris Jericho is back, with his electric jacket.

He ends this WWE run as a babyface. But what a great heel run it was. #Y2J




That was a great squash match surprise they managed at Survivor Series wth the Lesnar-Goldberg feud.

It kinda feels anticlimactic now that it's almost certain how Sunday is going to end (Lesnar winning). But hopefully Bill can go out with a good match.




Heyman mentions Sting's failure to win a belt in WWE.

Well, you know, Sting just had to put over Triple H at Wrestlemania.




To be fair, I loved the whole angle leading up to Sting vs. Triple H at Wrestlemania 31, with Sting constantly ruining things for Trips.

....But man. They coulda had either Sting get a belt, or wrestle Taker. Coulda done it.

But they didn't.

Missed it by that much.

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Well.

The "Bring the Wrestlemania to Philly Fight" was a quick spear from Goldberg to Lesnar.

Bring on the Ultimate Thrill Ride. Sorta.

It'll be good. The go-home Raws before Wrestlemanias have yet to really do it for me in the time I've been watching anyway.

Fastlane Recap

Let's go.




I had Brian Kendrick and Noam Dar beating Akira Tozawa and Rich Swann.

So of course WWE just teased the opposite happening.




Welp, 0 for 1. Swann and Tozawa win.




Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe. Barring anything crazy, Sami eats another pinfall here. At best it's a DQ.

It'll be nice if they ever book Sami as a serious force again. He's beginning to feel like the Dolph Ziggler of Raw.




"Samoa Joe is trained in Brazilian Jujitsu."

....Isn't that Joe-jitsu??




Sami turning into Dolph Ziggler notwithstanding, audiences still like him. Pretty close to 50-50 on Sami vs. Joe chants.




And there it is. Sami Zayn eats a chokeout loss.

*sigh* I like Sami. 1 for 2.




Enzo looks like Pimp Mario tonight.




Doh! I was right that WWE didn't have super confidence in Enzo and Cass as champions.

I was wrong that they would try them out as champions anyway. The Cue Balls win. 1 for 3.




Stephanie isn't on TV right now.

That makes everyone really sad. Smiles upside down.




Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks.

The bad gals are gonna have their night tonight, starting with Nia.




Lotta time spent with Nia dominating. Like a Sasha comeback is in the works....

....Me? Nervous about WWE telling my predictions to fuck themselves? Nah.




Sasha just did that move known as "that thing Cary Elwes did to Andre the Giant in The Princess Bride".




Fuckin' A. Sasha wins. 1 for 4.

....What? Don't blame me WWE decided its second heel in the Raw Women's Division won't get a push.




Well this is new. An added match featuring Jinder Mahal and Rusev against...someone.

Cool surprise.




It's Jinder Mahal and Rusev against Cesaro and Sheamus, impromptu.

...And it's me not making a fuckin' prediction since I'm getting killed worse than San Diego Charger Super Bowl prospects tonight.




For the briefest of moments....I thought what if Rusev and Jinder Mahal's impromptu opponents were going to be The Hardys?

That was an amazing moment, in my head. [Post-show note: They apparently signed with Ring of Honor.]




Cesaro defeats Jinder Mahal, setting up Rusev to feud with Jinder for fuckin' up.

Which may be the direction they're going with Enzo and Cass too. Enzo keeps screwing up, and Cass keeps getting impatient.




And now Big Show is out to battle Rusev.

Did someone get hurt and now they need a time fill? This all feels like a ginormous audible.




Wow, Big Show just got to land three consecutive choke slams on Rusev. And then pick up the pinfall.

We're a long long way from 2015's Invincible Rusev.




Kevin Owens = one of the best shit talkers of all-time.

One day we might call him the GOAT. He'll be in that conversation.




Everyone wants to look at Austin Aries' package.




Jack Gallagher vs. Neville.

....I'm not doubting my Jack winning prediction at all.




If Fruit Loops cereal were a wrestler, it'd be Jack Gallagher.




...Do I smell a Gallagher comeback? I'm gonna be over .500 on the night dammit!




Chants of "this is awesome" during this Cruiserweight Champion match.

Great sign. It HAS been an awesome match, and the audience is buying in. Good news for 205 Live.




Neville wins. And I'm now 1 for 5 tonight.

....Baseball season is here. Time to switch from shitty Chargers to shitty Padres jokes. #SanDiegoHasNiceWeather

(Not to mention that whole "the whole fucking team left town" thing that just happened. #TotallyOverIt #NotMadAtAll #SpearAndJackhammerForDeanSpanos )




There's Paul Heyman.

Signaling a potential Lesnar appearance tonight.

We've got Lesnar signaled to bust up the Main Event, and Samoa Joe signaled to do it too.

Lotta signals.




And there's New Day with their inevitable Official New Day Ice Cream.

They've graduated from World Famous Two-Time Champs to World Famous Continuous QVC Commercials.




Reigns vs. Strowman.

I still think a DQ. Doesn't make any sense for either man to take a pinfall here.




Roman is wearing "boots" that look like Converse, instead of his typical black footwear. White stripes on the bottom.

...Kinda goofy lookin'.




There's definitely a lot of the "make Strowman run at you and then leap aside so he smashes into the turnbuckle" thing in his matches.

Also known as "that thing you did to those dudes with the football helmets in Super Mario World".




Reigns gets put through a table, as expected.

He comes right back from it, as expected.




Roman Reigns gets the pinfall win!

Wow.

...Yeah he's the new John Cena.

I had Roman "winning" via DQ, but I won't cheat and W this pick. 1 for 6. #HoBoy




So, CLEARLY Samoa Joe is going to crash the Main Event. #RealFuckingSubtleGuys

[Post-show comment: What the shit was all this about then? Main Event, no Joe, no Lesnar. Da fuq?]




...We are well into "eat my hat" territory if Charlotte doesn't win here, picking me up a W.

...Except I like my hats.




Bayley, I'm sure you're a decent human being....but die like a dog.




Bayley with the not so subtle glancing blow botch. Like, a complete miss botch. #JediMindTrickTime #YouDidNotSeeThat




Tick tock. 19 minutes left in the PPV. Still need the Main Event.

....Goldberg's gonna squash, isn't he?




Sasha shows up. Helps Bayley. Doesn't get caught.

Well dadgummit. That might mean Bayley wins.




And there it is. Bayley wins with help from Sasha.

Blowout. Done. #1For7




State of my predictions:




If we're following the "logic" of having Reigns get a clean win over Braun Fucking Strowman, then yeah, Goldberg should lose this Main Event.

Seriously. What the hell just happened?




And Goldberg enters first, not last?

I............. @#@#%^#........




Such an epic vibe in that arena.

....I feel like this is going to finish very quickly.

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Just standing around is one way to not tax Goldberg much before 'Mania.

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Audience is getting impatient, starting to boo.

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There he fucking is! Jericho!!!!!!

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I was EXACTLY RIGHT on the goddamned Main Event. Jericho distracts KO which leads to him taking the spear and jackhammer loss to Goldberg.

It's been a great night! #2For8

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A fair pay-per-view. I'm glad I got the Main Event right, but Jericho's return could've been more clever in execution (a sneak from under the ring maybe).

I don't at all whatsoever understand Roman Reigns getting a win clean over Braun Strowman.

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Nia Jax getting undercut is one thing. Sadly this probably signals her moving into also-ran status.

But Braun Strowman? The monster you've spent months building up? To not even make it to 'Mania unbeaten?




The Cruiserweight Championship match stole the show tonight. Neville and Jack Gallagher got the only "this is awesome!" chants of the pay-per-view.

Good on them. 205 Live is coming into its own.

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This was otherwise an average show. They can't all be home runs. But having Strowman lose may be remembered as a bad turn for his career. Hope that is not the case. We've seen it too often.