Following last night's WWE Roadblock: End of The Line, our resident comic genius Mikey is back with his free flowing thoughts. Vince McMahon may want to read this or avoid this depending on the old man's mood today!!
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I'll go out on a limb and say that New Day finally drops the Tag Team belts to Cesaro and Sheamus.
Could go either way, but I feel they've been teasing a legit run for the Celtic Warrior and the Swiss Superman.
Cesaro and Sheamus come out the aggressors.
Could be setting up a New Day heel move comeback, or a Cesaro/Sheamus miscommunication.
Them being "leading" in the beginning makes me feel less likely that my win prediction for them will come true.
Big E spears Cesaro off the apron.
And because Cesaro isn't Roman Reigns, it works.
Cesaro hits White Noise on Big E, goes for the cover. No good.
Annnnnd Sheamus accidentally blasts Cesaro. There's the mistake.
Cesaro hits a "leg throw" (whatever it's called) on Kofi off the rope. Then goes a swingin'.
A Kofi tapout; the ref misses it.
Then Cesaro hits a neutralizer, that Big E breaks up.
This is looking not like a New Day loss.
Heh. Nevermind. Cesaro and Sheamus win with a slick fake tag move.
Good booking. The match had me second guessing the whole time.
Sheamus becomes only the 6th wrestler to win a specific set of four titles, including the Tag Team Championship. (Wanna say it was the Royal Rumble, US Title, World Title and Tag Team Title).
Cool hug it out with Cesaro and New Day. Sheamus of course stays heel.
Owens interview.
I don't think he drops the belt tonight. Sounds plausible that he'll hold it until Mania.
Jericho giving Owens the stink eye.
Tosses aside his Christmas scarf gift. #BromanceOver
Clever booking. Zayn doesn't need to beat Strowman, just last ten minutes against him.
I predict he will do so, to set up a "real" pinfall match later.
Chop by Sami to Braun does nothing.
Like a classic Undertaker no-sell. #Impervious
Sami Zayn dodges Strowman, gets him to fall over the rope.
Then Sami goes for the Spear and Strowman catches him and plants him.
More no-selling going on here than trying to sell ice to Eskimos.
Although technically you're selling how strong Braun is. #WrestlingTerminologyArguments
Mick comes out to throw a white towel on the match. Sami begs him not to.
Crowd chants "Delete, delete!"
Zayn baits Strowman into running first into the ring post, then a barricade.
He's following the classic "beat the big boss guy" videogame strategy.
Zayn outlasts.
Clever booking. Makes neither man look bad and sets up another match. About all you can ask for.
Jericho vs. Rollins.
If this were a Main Event match I'd presume a Rollins loss/Jericho win, assisted by Triple H.
It being not a Main Event, I say Rollins wins.
Whenever this run ends, it's been a great one for Jericho. He's made a brand new character, entirely distinct from the rest of his career.
Good job Sparkle Crotch.
Guys trade simple blows for a bit.
Jericho finally opens it up with a dropkick.
Jericho leaves the ring, smacks the announce table.
Rollins follows him, first hitting him with a knee drop, then throwing him into a wall.
Action goes back to the ring where Jericho counters with an eye poke. #ThePokeOfJericho
Another dropkick from Jericho, this time knocking Rollins out of the ring. #Toasty
Rollins beats the count back into the ring, Jericho continues pummeling him.
Jericho continuing his run of dropkicks.
Looks like Seth might need a heel trick to win.
Rollins finally on offense with some jabs and then a Slingblade.
Then drops Jericho from the second rope.
Rollins dumps Jericho over the top rope. Then hits the Suicide Dive.
Jericho gets Rollins into the Walls.
They should make this move work every now and then. Since it almost never does, the suspense is gone.
Jericho goes for the cover after a Lionsault. Doesn't work.
But that looked more like it might work than the Walls did.
Rollins goes for the Pedigree, Jericho blocks it, they trade counters more and Jericho has the Walls locked again.
Rollins gets out of the Walls and hits a Frog Splash.
Annnnnd as my wife called, Owens comes out to "help" Jericho.
Jericho stops to yell at Kevin Owens, and Rollins finishes him with a Pedigree.
Owens ruined it for Jericho. #WifeCalledIt
Guess this sets up Jericho vs Owens.
That...would be something if they let Jericho have one last title run, even a short one.
So Big Cass vs. Rusev was on the Kickoff Show. Not the Main Card.
....Yeah I totally wasn't looking forward to that match WWE. Not in the least. Wasn't important to me.
Oh but I get the Cruiserweights on the Main Card.
You know, the guys who have their own show. #Bitchtime
Well there's TJ's entrance. That always cheers me up.
I'm guessing Rich Swann retains.
Or at least doesn't lose it by a pinfall against him.
But he probably retains.
No DQ rules, which means Perkins didn't need to release his hold on Swann there.
I....don't know why he did that?
Swann retains.
And now we find out why this match "had" to be on the Main Card over Rusev vs. Big Cass.
Neville returns, to lay everybody out.
Ok, that was cool. And it's great to have him with the Cruisers.
But Big Cass and Rusev should've been on the Main Card too.
Owens goes to Jericho's door. Jericho predictably doesn't answer him.
Owens offers to let Jericho put him on The List.
For his next trick he'll stand outside in the rain with a radio.
Annnnd now my other favorite, Sasha vs. Charlotte.
Even though I'm tired of this feud, I'm sure this will be an awesome match.
I call a Sasha win. Which would be the first time she's won on a PPV in this entire feud.
"Your daddy loves me more." -Sasha
Well...he IS Ric Flair.
Sasha double knees off the apron.
Bring back the kendo sticks.
This is the "pan to audience jaws dropping" segment of the evening.
Charlotte gets caught hopping on one leg for what seems like ten seconds.
Then Sasha hits a Suicide Dive.
Charlotte kicks out Sasha's leg, Sasha falls face first onto the steps.
First "oh shit" moment of the match.
Sasha probably blocked a part of that fall, or her head would be cut.
Charlotte stalks a weakened Sasha. Then Sasha tries to rally.
Charlotte hits a knee drop.
Charlotte gets Sasha into a head scissor, then plants Sasha four or five times into the ring.
Sasha counters with a cover attempt that almost works.
Sasha kicks out of a cover attempt. Still no falls by either wrestler.
Are they gonna book this as a 1-0?
Charlotte hits Natural Selection. And yet another failed cover.
Sasha and Charlotte trading blows on the turnbuckle.
Then Charlotte finally hits Natural Selection off the rope and scores the first pinfall.
Been mostly Charlotte this match. Taunting Sasha now. Then hits her with a suplex.
I'm guessing Sasha comeback angle.
And just as I write that, Sasha scores a surpise pinfall to tie it up.
Charlotte goes for the Moonsault, Sasha dodges. Then Sasha locks in the Bank Statement.
Charlotte taps out to the Bank Statement. And Sasha now has the lead.
Sasha having the lead makes me nervous for her chances, a bit.
Could just be Charlotte getting increasingly desperate and mean towards the end.
Charlotte gets brutal with a knee piledriver. Then continues the assault on Sasha's leg using the turnbuckle.
Announcers note she's running out of time for another fall.
Charlotte holding Sasha with a Figure 4, trying everything to get Sasha to tap.
Sasha holding on.
....Buuuut Sasha taps just as time expires. Ties it up.
So what now?
Match to continue in Sudden Death overtime.
Smart booking, definitely gotta give it that.
Charlotte attacks Sasha's bad knee further, just throwing her around now.
But Sasha still counters with a near fall.
Sasha's face is bloody. Think her nose got hit.
And Sasha taps out to the Figure 8.
Eh. Great match; stupid ending to this feud.
I'm over this whole thing. And definitely over Charlotte as champ. #Joke
They're officially John Cena-ing Charlotte.
Jamming her down the audience's throat until everyone hates her.
"If Roman Reigns beats Kevin Owens tonight..."
the audience is gonna burn the fucking house down. #FinishASentence
I, once again, think Owens retains.
It'd be interesting if Triple H shows up to help him.
Owens begins the match with his typical "walk out of the ring" bit. #HeadGames
Daily reminder that Reigns should be a heel.
The audience boos him more than they'd boo a Triple H poetry recital.
Some chasing outside the ring, and now some clotheslines from Reigns.
No major spots yet.
Just booing.
Because Roman Reigns should be a heel.
KO hits a Centon (sp) off the steps.
"C'mon tough guy. If you're so tough how come you didn't put your title on the line?"
<3 Kevin Owens
Owens hits a Neckbreaker. Failed cover.
And repeats that.
"No one wants you here."
Kevin Owens says what the audience thinks.
I know he's a heel, but I'm surprised he doesn't get cheered more.
Reigns finally starts countering. And then hits a clothesline.
The audience cheers wildly.
Owens hits a German Suplex.
Goes for a Cannonball that Reigns counters.
Then hits a DDT.
Reigns hits a Superman Punch, then a failed cover.
...Crowd chanting "No, it's not"?
Reigns hits another Superman punch, this time with Owens on the top rope.
Goes for the Superplex, which Owens counters with his own Superplex. #Planted
Reigns counters Owens' drop attempt with a knee block. .
Owens retreats out of the ring.
Owens hits Reigns with a Superkick, then two splashes onto the announce table (the second one breaking the table).
Reigns beats a 10 count back into the ring, so Owens hits him with another Frog Splash. And the cover still fails.
Reigns blocks a Superkick, and counters with a Powerbomb. Another kickout.
More trading cover attempts. Reigns survives by getting his foot on the rope.
Reigns hits KO with a spear, after KO goes for the title belt hit.
Annnnd there's Jericho coming in. Uh oh.
Jericho hits KO with a Codebreaker.
Which actually does Owens a favor by DQ'ing the match.
Jericho stands Owens up.
And they're cool with each other again.
Guess no feud for them after all.
Seth Rollins comes out too.
Reigns hits Owens with a spear.
Rollins hits Jericho with a Pedigree.
Guess it's the Shield buddies doing Shield Buddy stuff.
And they do the Shield announce table break powerbomb to Jericho. #BandBackTogether
About to do the same to Owens.
Guess the audience can start chanting "You sold out!" to Rollins again.
If audience boos are any indication, pairing Rollins and Reigns won't make Reigns any more popular. It'll just rub his unpopularity off onto Rollins.
Stop. Trying. To Make Reigns. A. Babyface. Vince.
A pretty ok PPV, considering I didn't get to see the match I most wanted to see.
But not a home run. The tale of unpopular title holders.
