One of them would have to change brands, but it'd be great for Aidan English to team up with The Drifter.
One man's annoying singing meets another's annoying guitar playing.
I'm legit amused by Erick Rowan being a weirdo on the Kickoff Show. Lolz.
A bit surprising that they're leading with Ziggler vs. Nakamura.
Shinsuke's on the PPV poster. This feels like the Main Event.
...And it's first out the gate?
Ok guys.
"Nakamura is now in the Major Leagues."
Yeah. Where they'd better not ruin him. Kinda their thing.
"Let's go Ziggler/Ziggler sucks!" chants.
Months of Ziggler being an uber-heel, but he's still picking up some cheers. Hey, that's cool.
#WWEBacklash
There are kicks, and then there are Nakamura kicks.
"An A-Bomb from A-Rod."
"A DDT from D-Zieg."
...
K no.
Ziegler tunes up the band, then hits Zig-Zag.
But Nakamura kicks out.
"Nakamura!" chants.
Nakamura and Ziegler now slugging it out.
Nakamura hits Kinsasha and puts away Ziggler.
Welcome to the Main Roster, Shinsuke.
Heh. Awesome. Guy in the front row patting Nakamura on the back has a Super Mario Bros. 3
t-shirt on.
Er, this bit is funny. But we already saw it.
Usos vs. Breezango.
I think Breezango wins. Hope so anyway. Would be the first belt Tyler Breeze has won.
K I'll admit it. I don't get the Usos' "Day One Ish" thing.
Maybe I just wasn't paying attention during their promos or something.
I don't know if I should read into Tyler Breeze dressing up like a janitor and having a mop at ringside as to Breezango's prospects for winning.
This brings new meaning to the term "mop up".
Why does Tyler Breeze have that Conehead thing on his head again?
Er, now Tyler Breeze is dressed up like a Grandma.
"Let's go Grandma" chants.
...Well, just when you think you've seen it all.
JBL got hit in the head by Breeze's dress one of the Usos threw out of the ring.
JBL: "Last time that happened to me I paid for it!" .
Heh.
I kinda really do want Breezango to win.
...Which probably means WWE is just waiting to disappoint me.
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And yep. Usos win.
How'd I fuckin' know?
Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin.
I'm thinking Corbin wins. They've given him momentum, and Zayn anti-momentum. Feels like they'll continue that path.
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I feel like Corbin needs to actually come out on a motorcycle at some point.
It's worked before.
Sami Zayn hits a dropkick.
"Let's go Corbin/Sami Zayn!" chants.
The Zayn chants sound louder, as you'd expect.
Zayn dodges a running Corbin, which sends Baron over the ropes.
Corbin hits a drop on Zayn.
"Ole!" chants.
Corbin goes for another hit, Zayn hits a clothesline.
This feels like a war of attrition that Corbin is going to eventually win.
But who knows. It's not like WWE loves to book heartbreaking losses.
Both men are on the ropes, Sami starts beating Corbin's back.
Then Sami hits a powerbomb.
But Corbin kicks out.
Lots of covers, lots of kickouts.
Sami hits a kick. And another.
Goes for the cover....
And wins! I'll be damned.
Zayn having back spasms.
Don't be hurt, Sami.
Up Up Down Down playing Rocket League.
Well New Day's gotta keep busy somehow.
Jinder Mahal, coming out on a Persian rug.
Even though he's Indian.
Jinder Mahal, "America is hateful" yadda yadda yadda.
I miss Rusev. Bad.
James Ellsworth and Fred Durst, separated at birth.
Carmella, the one who bringeth The Moonwalks.
...What in da fuck did Becky Lynch do to her hair?
Becky Lynch looks like Goku.
I'm gonna suppose that Charlotte's team wins.
Aside, Naomi having glowing hair is pretty cool.
Tamina kinda has that Villain On Star Trek look going on.
Lotta kicks to the Baby Makers happening here. #PlayNiceLadies
Becky Lynch taps out to the sharpshooter.
I'd prefer just a pin. But whatcha gonna do.
The Welcoming Committee wins.
Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles.
Tricky to call.
I think they're gonna keep up the momentum for KO.
But it's a toss-up. 50-50.
Heh. "Stupid idiot" chants.
Jericho never leaves. He just takes a break.
AJ hits a face-first powerbomb on KO.
KO counters with a Superkick and then a Neckbreaker.
AJ tries for a Styles Clash on the edge of the ring, KO gets out of it. KO counters with throwing Styles into the wall, and then a Cannonball.
Both men on the top rope.
Styles eventually lands a super Powerbomb.
Styles with missed footing on the ropes. Hope that wasn't an injury.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Styles hits a kick.
Owens hits a suplex from the top rope.
Damn.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Styles hit a suplex on KO right on the edge of the apron.
These two are making the Match of the Year. Or they're gonna kill each other. Or both.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Styles hits a Phenomenal Forearm outside of the ring.
Owens counters by putting Styles' leg in the announce table.
....And Styles is stuck, and can't beat the count out back to the ring.
Owens wins by a count.
Luke Harper vs. Erick Rowan.
Underappreciated Guys: The Match.
Harper through the ropes, briefly pins Rowan between the desks.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Rowan hits a powerbomb. Harper kicks out.
Harper hits two Superkicks to Rowan's jaw.
And then Harper wins.
Not the result I would have expected since Erick Rowan made the challenge.
But who knows if this is a feud they'll give any more airtime to, or just filler.
Annnnd Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton.
....
If Jinder were a redhead, would he be Ginger Mahal?
I'm guessing Orton wins and retains the belt.
But who knows. WWE really really wants more revenue out of India.
So when's Rusev due back?
Orton starts attacking Mihal before the bell rings.
The Viper, after all.
Bell finally rings. The two men slug it out.
Orton goes for an RKO, misses. Then Orton drops him outside of the ring.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mahal starts countering, hits some holds and a kick back in the ring.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Let's go Jinder/Jinder sucks!"
Love him or hate him, the audience is weighing in. The push registered.
Mahal hits an Armbreaker and a Knee Drop.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Randy Orton drops Jinder back-first onto an announce table.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jinder counters with holds in the ring again.
Does the "ask him ref!".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Audience is getting bored with the hold-fest.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Randy finally breaks the holds and sends Jinder head-first into the post.
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Trading hits on the rope. Randy hits a low blow.
Randy finally hits a Superplex off the top rope.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mahal kicks out. And now it's a slugfest in the middle of the ring again.
Orton then hits a Powerslam.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Randy is getting covers, but can't finish them.
...
The Singh Brothers at ringside still loom large. I don't think we're getting through the match without them interfering.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Randy doing his Viper smash. Jinder escapes the ring.
Now the Singh Brothers are pointing at Randy.
Orton throws around the Brothers. But that gives Jinder time to make his move and strike.
....
But Randy then hits an RKO.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Singh Brothers drag Jinder out of the ring.
This is one of those "the DQ rules matter, until they don't" type matches.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Now Orton demolishes the Singh Brothers outside of the ring.
....And the distraction of the Singh Brothers allows Mahal to hit his finisher and win the match.
There it is.
"Get used to it folks!".
Eh.
Some guy yelling at me about diversity isn't a product I want to watch WWE. I'm not gonna get used to that.
