Yeah, I saw spoilers for New Day.
Not that it was ever in suspense.
I'm glad the guys finally got their act over by being heels. And are still over.
As genuinely stellar New Day is with trombone antics, the "Whos", and everything else, one wonders why WWE didn't just let them do that from the start (instead of the hacky "we're so positive" lameness).
They didn't cut Sheamus' music off this time. They played Cesaro first and then let the Celtic Warrior's play on afterward.
Smells like setting up legitimacy for a title run. #Foreshadowing
Gotta have Finn Balor remake the Bullet Club with Anderson and Gallows when he returns. And have them all be badasses.
That's about the only way to salvage A & G's run. What a waste, in a way only WWE can.
Sheamus lands his smacky thing on Gallows.
Still one of those moves that can't feel great, even for scripted.
The Boot of Doom.
I'd have called it the Booter Doomer. #HireAWriter
Cesaro landing on people, swinging dudes around, pinning with sharpshooters.
Yeah he looks the part of a future tag-team champion.
He also looks the part of a Main Eventer, or the guy (not named Goldberg) who beats Lesnar.
Amazing athlete.
New Day officially gets the record.
Great bunch of guys. They deserve it.
Heh. I thought that guy looked a lot like Randy Orton on that Shooter show.
New Day arrives at their party.
How many minutes until the food fight starts?
Stephanie gets sprayed in the eye with champagne, flips, and storms out.
Never ever get stuff in Stephanie's eye.
Announcers show a Sami Zayn tweet saying he wants a match with Strowman tonight, or else.
Glad to see them making Sami fearless in this (on paper) mismatch. Him getting a W will go a long way towards getting him momentum again.
More Stephanie. Needs to find some dry clothes.
Now is not the time for jokes about getting Stephanie out of her clothes.
Kevin Owens trying for an anti New Day plan with Steph.
Fight on, scheme on.
Strowman vs. Curtis Axle.
The "versus" here being used very loosely. #ThanklessJobber
So, Sami's gonna come out and do something wild. Any moment now. #AlwaysTotallyRight
Well pea knuckle. I was wrong.
Wait, there's Sami, yelling at Mick Foley.
Ha! I was only 1/2 wrong.
"...then maybe I don't need to BE on Raw anymore!"
Hmm.
It would make sense to send Sami to Smackdown. Not much going on there with the main guys at the moment. And Miz needs a babyface challenger for the IC title.
Do ittttttt.
Davari Duder vs. Lince Other Duder.
Come for the snark. Stay for the accuracy.
Heh. "As an extraordinary gentleman, I am here to announce MY INTENTION of interfering with this match."
Ok. I dig it. #JackGallagher
If CM Punk ever came back, how off the chain would a match with him against Seth Rollins be? #SuperMatch
"Byron I'll bet you believe Kanye's mental breakdown was real too."
...I don't really have a joke here, except the announcers should beware. #KanyeSeesEverything
Kevin Owens does a Kevin Owens thing and sits on his own chair at the top of the ramp, for his "segment" on the Rollins Report.
KO and Seth Rollins shit talking on each other again.
Owens drops the bombshell that himself and Chris Jericho will be taking on New Day later.
And then Jericho comes out.
#FriendshipPatchedUp
Jericho being Hard To Get Jericho.
Jericho drops a "stupid idiot", crowd loves it.
He starts threatening to put Rollins on the list. Crowd loves it.
The man's a genius. Complete reinvention of his act, and it's 100% over.
KO and Jericho unload on Rollins.
Yeah, they're cool with each other again.
Annnnnnd Roman Reigns comes out to help Rollins.
...They're STILL booing him as a babyface, Vince. #JustGoddamnedSaying
Rich Swann and Brian Kendrick promo against each other. Then TJ shows up.
Everyone including the announcer gal has purple on, except for TJ.
....(Had to say SOMETHING about the segment. So there you go.)
TJ Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick is also known as The Two Guys Mikey Likes In The Cruiserweight Division Bowl.
The TTGMLITCDB.
TJ hitting dropkicks all over the place.
Kendrick counters with and beats TJ with two Sliced Breads.
Wins legit. No heel trick.
Mick Foley adding Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns as a team to the Main Event, making it New Day vs. KO + Jericho vs. The Former Shield Guys (TM).
...I'm guessing a DQ.
"Sasha vs. Charlotte will CULMINATE this Sunday..."
Liars.
Those arm-flailing guys for Bailey are so much fun. #TimeToBeInTheTitlePicture
Bailey defeats Alicia Fox with a Belly to Belly. I do <3 her.
I still miss hair-in-a-bun Lana.
If anything I liked the idea of her wrestling every now and then, which seemed like it might happen after Wrestlemania.
Oh well. Guess this'll do. #EyeCandy
Rusev has a smile that only a man married to Lana and bragging about it would have.
Alright, where's the "behind closed doors" gag going? #PlayingCheckers
Ah of course. Just replaying the Enzo beatdown from last week. Because that was behind closed doors. #IFuckinGetIt
Dragging on here a bit guys. Make like STD prevention and wrap it up.
Big Cass finally comes out to respond, sans "hurt" Enzo.
Says some things and then goes after Rusev.
This eventual match should be really good. Two big meatheads slugging it out.
More Jericho and Owens.
Jericho reminding Owens they still aren't cool yet. #MaleSoapOpera
Sami Zayn wrestling against Mr. Stall Until Braun Strowman Comes Out.
Yeah, that's his name. #Legit
Zayn defeats Jinder Majal.
WWE shits on my Strowman joke.
Mick Foley comes out and announces that they WILL be trading Sami Zayn to Smackdown.
Sami demands the Strowman match one last time.
...Hmm. I call angle, still. No trade.
Mick Foley announces further that the trade is straight up him for Eva Marie.
...Well this got weird.
Yeah, it's an angle. Sami rightfully notes he's worth many Eva Maries.
Sami and Mick flat out in each other's faces now, Marty McFly and Mr. Strickland style.
Yep. All an angle. It's Sami Zayn vs. Strowman at Roadblock.
GOOD setup, WWE. Well done.
That....segment was entirely comprised of set-up for every match on Sunday, and for the Main Event tonight.
Guess that has to happen sometimes. #Filler
I definitely stick to my call of DQ for the Main Event. Nobody eats a pinfall and New Day still gets the record.
Big E went for the Spear, and Roman blocked it with his knee.
From a size and momentum standpoint, that shouldn't work.
But, Roman Reigns. #FavoredSon
Lot of wisecracks against the Philadelphia Flyers tonight. #WeGetItGuys
Woods nails KO with a dropkick to the back.
KO and Jericho both go for suplexes on the rope.
And then we get one GIANT suplex involving everyone. #ThatWasCool
They slow replay Kevin Owens somersault-planting Xavier.
KO gets shit for being fat. But a non-athletic man couldn't do that and not get hurt from it.
Rollins with the Suicide Dive against Jericho on one side. And then one against Big E on the other side. #SideToSide
Fans boo at even the hint Roman might be the winner here. (Sure you don't want him as a heel Vince?"
Woods almost gets the pin on Roman. Doesn't get it.
They trade blows in the ring.
Rollins and Reigns then tag team hit Woods. #StuffGoinOn
Jericho goes for the Walls on Woods.
Yeah no.
Owens with a superkick on Woods, then tag teams a codebreaker on Woods with Jericho. #MoreStuffHappening
Jericho and Owens argue, which opens up Rollins to hit a Pedigree on Jericho.
And New Day capitalizes; Wood pins Jericho.
Dammit WWE. Shit on my jokes AND my Main Event Prediction.
Owens and Jericho with the final stare down in the ring.
Who is gonna stand tall?
Reigns spears Owens as Jericho leaves. And stands tall.
Gotta give the audience what they want. *snicker*
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