Curt Hawkins vs. Mojo Rawley.
Mojo wins I think. Good on WWE, they don't seem to want Mojo to lose momentum in the wake of Zack Ryder's injury.
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Hey, let's cut to commercial during our own pre-show match. On our own paid network.
Fine match pedigree for these Kickoff Shows. I mean, look what they did for Ryback's career.
Hey, 1 for 1. Mojo wins.
I'm counting that match dammit.
Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James.
I predict Mickie wins it with a heel move to set up Becky for the comeback win at 'Mania.
JBL, you fell flat on your ass like a dork when entering tonight. You don't get to rip on anyone.
Three women's matches on the card tonight.
Impressive. That's gotta be a first.
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Heh. So of course Lynch wins clean.
1 for 2.
Handicap match, Apollo Crews + Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler.
Ziggler wins with a heel move.
C'mon heels. Help me out here.
Well, I'm right that Ziggler does a heel move, which takes out Kalisto.
....That probably sets up Crews to get the win though.
No givesie backsies on predictions though. ;-)
Kalisto and Crews get the win. Kalisto made it back into the match.
....You're fucking it up for me heels.
Tag Team Turmoil Match.
Fuck if I know who wins.
Ascension wins. Why not?
The Usos take out Heath Slater and Rhyno.
For those popular two to get eliminated leads me to think that just maybe Creative might be willing to give a new tag team a shot. Maybe.
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Well, they're teasing an Ascension win pretty heavily.
...They're going to disappoint me, aren't they?
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Yep, WWE disappoints again. American Alpha retains.
20 minute-plus match just to be status quo.
What the fuck point is there to this division? Goddammit.
Nikki Bella vs. Natalya.
I think Nikki wins. Can't see them letting Nattie get away with all the below the belt promo shots on the former Divas Champion.
Double count out finish for Nikki vs. Nattie?
Tonight is a banner night for leaving things status quo.
Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper.
Even with tonight screwing up all my picks, THIS one has to be a Randy win.
Orton wins.
Glad to hear "this is awesome!" chants, even though this match and this entire angle (Orton with the Wyatts) has carved an obvious path since he joined them.
Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss.
I think Alexa wins. I don't think Mickie AND Alexa lose in the same night.
Wow, Naomi wins.
Good on her.
Someone explain to the part of Creative that can roll with change in the Women's Division that it's ok to have change with the Tag Teams.
Carmella's right. They should stop talking to her.
The Elimination Chamber match.
I think Bray Wyatt walks out tonight as WWE Champion. Which has been a long time coming.
Cena's Code Red move seems like it would be really rough on your neck. Ouch.
Wow, Cena with a two man suplex of Styles and Ambrose.
....(Yeah I know, the other guys have to jump to help the move, but still. Never not impressive-looking.)
Cena and Styles climb the chamber.
"You know we can't climb out of this thing like this, right?"
"Roll with it dude. ROLL WITH IT."
"Holy shit" chant off a double throw move, Ambrose throwing Styles and Wyatt.
Corbin hits End of Days on Styles AND Cena.
It's a new day, yes it is.
Heh. Right as I say that, Ambrose eliminates Corbin.
Corbin wrecks Dean after being eliminated, setting up Dean for the cheap pinfall from the Miz.
Corbin is the heel Reigns should have been.
Of course they let Cena get the cheap pop elimination of Miz, not Bray Wyatt.
Cena with the double Five Knuckle Shuffle on Bray and Styles.
Styles counters with the Clash.
Man, there's status quo "fuck you's", and then there would be letting Cena win this match.
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*jaw drop*
Bray HITS SISTER ABIGAIL on JOHN CENA and ELIMINATES HIM.
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Down to Bray and AJ.
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Bray with a wicked clothesline on Styles.
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Styles hits a 450 on Bray. He still kicks out.
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Wyatt blocks the Phenomenal Forearm.
Then HITS SISTER ABIGAIL and WINS!
About damned time. Congratulations Bray Wyatt!
Immediate tease of the Wyatt match with Randy Orton at Wrestlemania, to end the PPV.
Goosebumps man. Awesome.
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